It’s September, why am I eating Celebrations?

Because punishing myself is what I do for this blog!

Celebrations - 15

Anyway, there I was, helplessly typing in ‘Christmas’ in the weekly Ocado big shop, just to see what they had in, and up popped the tub of Celebrations for £4.00. Well, let’s ‘celebrate’ starting this years build up to Christmas with some Celebrations. Do you see what I did there?

In fairness, Ocado were out of stock of the £7.99 Quality Street 1Kg tin, and long time readers will know, I’m generally all in for Quality Street. Celebrations were all what were available for now, so that’s what I went for.

Friday evening rolled around, Ian from Ocado, driving the raspberry red van showed up and delivered me my tins of beans, frozen spinach and tub of celebrations. I handed him my bags back (5p a bag when you hand them back don’t you know) and put the kettle on, ready for a cup of tea and a bit of a chocolate treat.

Wait, stop here a second, yes I shop with Ocado. Doesn’t mean I’m loaded or anything, I just like the selection, and they gave me a free six month Smart Pass. Which helped. I used to shop with Sainsbury’s, but they messed up my delivery once too often so I kicked them into touch. I’ve long since had that argument with Tesco, which is why I ended up using Sainsbury’s and, I just don’t shop at Asda because I’m frankly a bit too much of a snob (my mum always tells me that, she’s not wrong).


Celebrations - 9

Yes, there it is, in all its glory, and photographed on my new dining table too, mixing the pictures up even more this year for you all.

So, this year the tub weighs all of 650g, which is actually 664g including the wrappers. So 14g of wrappers in this tub, seems a lot to me, but whatever.

After several minutes (maybe hours) piggling away at the sellotape seal around the lid, I was in…

Celebrations - 4

Now I realise this looks like I’ve had half of them with my cup of tea already, but honestly, not so, this is fresh opening (after I’d picked up a few off the floor after wrestling with the lid). The tub is not exactly choc-full (BOOM, now that’s a gag!).

Well, at least it’s a fairly pretty sight, I’ll give it that. But, what you don’t get is any sort of full on chocolate smell, it just smells of bad advent calendar low quality muck.

And that’s basically how they taste as well…

Celebrations - 1

So, what’s in here?

  • Mars – Tastes like Mars tastes now, not how it tasted when you were eight.
  • Twix – Biscuit that tastes like sponge, where is that crunch gone. Too much caramel.
  • Bounty – As bad as the regular bounty, they should at least go for the dark chocolate version to mix it up a bit.
  • Snickers – Only good when refrigerated and hard to chomp, this is soft and so small there is barely room for a stunted peanut.
  • Malteaser – It’s not though is it, it’s a ‘Teaser’ which is the rubbish version of the airy balls of greatness that are actual Malteasers. Can’t we just put Malteasers in here that don’t taste rubbish?
  • Galaxy – I mean, it’s fine I suppose if you like Galaxy. Smooth chocolate if you like that sort of thing.
  • Galaxy Caramel – Feels a bit cheaty this. So soft and caramelly it’s gone in an instant and you get no Galaxy flavour cos it’s all caramel.
  • Milky Way – Probably the best here, a bit of chew about it.

So, nothing new since I did the last round-up of this tub of bilge in 2016.

Last time I suggested they need to chuck in the Applause bar. I stand by that suggestion today. There is nothing else here with raisins, it’s a no-brainer…


So, that’s it.

To sum up…

Celebrations, still rubbish. Still full of the same old chocolates that you don’t buy anymore because it’d ruin your nutritional macros or something.

Now…onto the next disappointment…


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