So, these popped up yesterday at home and I was ordered to examine them.

Being nothing if not professional about these things, I agreed. The things I do for science.

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Let’s start by noting the packaging. I’ve not really looked at much by Mr Kipling on here but I’ve seen them lying around, unloved in piles in the shops.

The packaging is actually kind of nice, pretty patterns in the background, pleasant colours, it’s every inch the corporate machine of pie pack making. And, every single different thing Mr Kipling makes is on brand, the packaging is identical. It’s good for brand recognition, but bad for when your 90 year old, dotty little old lady wants some Mr Kipling Gingerbread Whirls and comes back with these, these vile creations.

And here we go…

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They look innocent enough right. Don’t let the looks fool you.

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The filling is a bit lop sided, but honestly, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a viennese whirl from Mr Kipling that isn’t like this. What I can’t show, what I can’t demonstrate…is the taste.

It was so bad I almost had to throw it away halfway through.

The description on the back says this:
Winter Whirls with buttercream and a mince pie flavour filling.

MINCE PIE FLAVOUR. THIS DOES NOT TASTE LIKE MINCE PIE.

In fact, it tastes what I imagine a cinnamon spiced Yankee Candle would taste like. You know, a candle, that you light…yeah, rancid.

Part of the ingredients describes it as a “spiced apple jam“.

Mr Kipling, you are messing with us here!

Is it Spiced Apple or is Mince Pie flavour? Mince Pie definitely isn’t spiced apple so this is ridiculous.

Let me tell you, if you buy these you’re literally being robbed. Had to have a Twinings Camomile (and spiced apple ironically enough) tea to calm down and take the taste away. What an absolutely ridiculous mess these are.

I’m starting to rethink this whole endeavour, nothing is worth eating these things again.